Introductions
I hate introductions.
Telling people what I do for a living
Is volunteering to feel a lump in my throat.
Here comes the question:
“What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen?”
And I know what they want:
They want to know about the times
Where humor is the main part of my day.
The: “Oh my God! I can’t believe that.”
Or the: “Who does that?!”
That is what they want,
But that is not what they ask.
Asking me about the worst thing I’ve ever seen
Is asking me to relive the day I watched the girl with my same birthday die.
Asking me about the worst thing I’ve ever seen
Is asking me about the day I was the last heartbeat through my coworker’s veins.
Asking me about the worst thing I’ve ever seen
Is asking me what it was like to have someone else’s blood on my hands, on my shirt, and on my conscience.
Asking me about the worst thing I’ve ever seen is asking me to relive the day I stared at a catholic coworker’s saint necklace not knowing who the saint was or what their specialty was but praying to him anyway.
It’s identifying someone by opening their cell phone with their dead thumb.
It’s failure. It’s pain. It’s the deafening words of “time of death.”
People ask me what the worst thing I’ve ever seen is,
As if they could sleep at night if they actually knew.
Jessica Mongold is a nurse practitioner pursuing her Doctorate of Nursing Practice at West Virginia Wesleyan. She was born and raised in West Virginia and has a passion for caring for the patients of WV. She enjoys singing, writing, running, and hiking with her dog, Cooper.
Vandalia Arts Journal 